HetaliaENGTranscript

England: Oh, this is rather upsetting.  I guess I can't expect things to go smoothly for me all the time, now can I? Japan: That is very true. Sealand: Hello, Japan! Japan: Ah? Sealand: The Powerful Rangers are so totally awesome!  Now, don't lie, tell me you're the one who made them!  Can you please use your magic to turn me into one? England: This is pathetic. Sealand: Huh? England: It just goes to show you how stupid little children can be!  Japan is not magical so there will be no transforming.  They use actors!  They stick them inside those suits and pretend to battle. Sealand: You're a big dream-killing liar facehole! Japan: We

(England: Yeh… aaaghhhh…) Germany: Seriously, I caught him a couple blocks away from here.  Are you guys sure you're ok? Romano: Oh, thanks a million, why not next time just stab me in the chest with a spatula!! (Italy: Uhhhh…) Germany: How many times have I told you two to talk to me first before you try anything like this, because you'd probably screw it up without me?  It's too late now and I'm left cleaning up your mess. (Romano: Ahh ah ah ah AH AH AH AH AH AH AH AH!!!!!) Germany: We're going to have to start your training over from scratch.  But this time I can't treat you like little babies.  Th—would you shut

Narrator: In 1967, Sealand decided to become a country by running around saying, "I'm a country!  I'm a country!" but nobody else was buying it because they all thought he was too small.  Then there was the whole "oh crap my country is on fire" thing, so in 2007, they decided to sell themselves and possibly open an online casino.  Will Sealand's dream of online riches be able to buy him friends?  Works for me! [Principality of Sealand for Sale for 65 Million Pounds?!] [Keep moving forward!  Sealand!!] (Opening) [Sealand] Sealand: So, Iceland is being auctioned off on eBay?! [Iceland] Sealand: Wow!  Finally there's someone out there who

Narrator: Right around the time Italy was enjoying the Renaissance, Sweden started a rebellion against Denmark, and the Teutonic Knights, who are really Germans, started to take on Poland and Lithuania.  Of course, China was way ahead of everyone.  They'd been a seasoned traveler for centuries and had given the world things like the compass, paper, gunpowder, and mushu pork.  As such, they expected to be showered with gifts wherever they went.  Which is why they sailed around in such big ships.  To carry all the stuff back!  They were kind of like that smart aunt who brought an extra bag to family Christmas out of town. (Opening) China: Ahh

[Conference Room] England: Alright, everyone.  Today's agenda… is the G8.  Basically, we're talking about us. (Opening) England: So first of all, I'd like to share with you how I really feel about all of this.  Glare.  I don't think there necessarily needs to be eight of us.  Seven is enough. Russia: Why do you look at me when you say that? Belarus: Ohhh very irritated! England: Ah!! Russia: Mmmm… nomnomnom… I believe eight is definitely enough.  What do you all think?  Nomnom… Canada: Oh, I agree!  At least I think I do, but I don't know.  Maybe I should think about it!  Just, come back to me. Kumajiro: I'm h

Austria: Hmmng. [Austria's Freeloader Series] [Morning and a Noble] Narrator: Morning and a Noble. Germany: (groan) I guess I can thank Italy the Idiot for another terrible day. (crash) Germany: Ddyeugh! Austria: Euughheughhheugeugehhehghh… You saw nothing!! [A Noble's Pride] (Opening) [Austria's Freeloader Series] [Pushy Noble] Narrator: Pushy Noble. Austria: It was all your fault, you know. Germany: Quit blaming others!  Take the responsibility for once!  For a disgusting freeloader you sure are acting self-righteous. (Germany: Dh!) Austria: Please shut your big mouth and listen to these words a great man from my country

Narrator: Worried about Japan's ridiculously high salt intake and probable future heart attack, Germany started Japan on a strict diet and intensive physical training program. (Germany: You better start running!) Narrator: However, knowing he was setting an example, he decided to abstain from beer, which, as we all know, is his favorite drink. (Germany: Thank you, but… give it to my big brother instead.) (Opening) Germany: (chewing with doom) Japan: (chewing uncomfortably) Japan: You know, Mr. Germany, it is not necessary for you to join me in this endeavor. Germany: It is.  I was the one who started it, und I will be with you unt

[In order to make good products in Northern Europe] Finland: Hm hm hm hm… hmmm~ [Finns should do the planning and design] Finland: Ok dog, what do you think about this? Hanatamago: Arf! [Oh my

(Opening) Italy: Hey, Japan! Japan: Ah… Italy: I wanted to wish you a happy birthday! Germany: I think you mean "Happy National Foundation Day?"  That is a lot more important than a simple birthday. Japan: Uh… I… thank you for your kindness! They're pretty.  I don't think anyone has given me such beautiful flowers before. Italy: No problemo!  So spill the beans; tell me exactly how old you're going to be this year! Japan: Oh, it seems like forever… I am not certain I'll be able to remember.  When I was small, I was happy to celebrate my birthday.  But now I just look at it and say, "Well, here comes another birt

Chibiromano: (Sigh) I can't believe I ended up at dorkface's place after all of that. Uh—duaaah!  Aaaaaaaa! [Argh!] Joanna: Sell him to the gypsies at once! Chibiromano: Uhaah?! (Chibiromano: Ah..?) Joanna: Maybe they can find some use for him.  We travel halfway across the globe to New World, only to bring riches back to waste on him!  Idiota! Spain: Lo siento!  My bad! Joanna: Did you think fighting Turkey would be this simple affair?  We got no moneys!  Come here!  I'm going to give you an economics lesson you will never forget! (Chibiromano: Ahh…) Spain: Uwaaaiiiaiiiaaaiiiaaiiiaaiiii!!!  Ai yai yai!! (Opening) Spain: